PS3 Launch Story: Lines, lies, and laxatives

Posted Nov 23, 2006 at 7:26AM by QJ Staff Listed in: PS3 Tags:

All is fair in love and war, and when we're talking about that many people who love the PS3 heading out in droves during last week's launch, you can expect one messy war. Reader Kirk just submitted this story he picked up that occurred during the launch days, and while we're not too sure about its authenticity, we do enjoy the yarn.

Here goes the tale:
Once upon a time, a guy goes over to his local Walmart on Wednesday to get ready for the launch, and runs into 12 other guys lined up - the first six of which were exceptionally dedicated (or was it obsessed?) fans who were there since Monday.

He got along well with the six other guys on the tail end of the line, and they even went as far as vouch for each other in case any one of them had to step out of the line to buy food, or go to the bathroom. But the wicked first six guys would not have it, yelling that they would call the store manager if they stepped out. Very wicked indeed.

Now it came to pass on that day that manager does come out to tell the intrepid travelers that, alas, they have but only 7 PS3 's available, and all the others would have to head home in disappointment. This dude, however, decides to stay behind, already friends with the 7th dude, and even hangs around with the six wicked nerds at the head of the line.

Later that day, the dude hatched his plan: He soon heads out to buy the seven food and coffee, all the while spiking six of the cups with laxative, sparing the seventh man in line. Soonafter, the first six in line start feeling strange butterflies in their stomach...and you know what happens with laxatives, right? Henceforth, The dude who slipped the six wicked nerds the laxative watched as they were all escorted out of the premises by Walmart security, and he and the 7th man lived happily ever after - that is - they got their PS3.

Like we said, we can't verify this story if it's true or not, but it kept us entertained, and should also give you guys an idea of how NOT to treat the other guys in line, especially when a shiny black box is in question. Moral of the story: Shoot happens, especially when somebody offers you free coffee. Look on the bright side, at least they didn't run into "those" people.

Via Craiglist

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Comments

# Here is the link to the EBAY auction where this story comes from. — HellionNecrosis 2006-11-23 03:15

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=002&sspagename=STRK%3AMEWA%3AIT&viewitem=&item=120054509305&rd=1&rd=1

# ... — Guest 2006-11-23 04:05

genius

# ahahh — Guest 2006-11-23 04:10

Well here's what my friends did. They drove by drunk as hell one night at 3am and pegged everyone in line with Waterballoons Full Of PISS!!!!!! Now who wants to stand around in line for 24 more hours, cold as hell, smelling like a dead dog's dong?? No one. Everyone left the line to go home and change. But when they came back..... Their spots were taken!!!!

BWAAAAAAAAAA AHAHAHAHAHAHHAA H

# yep — Guest 2006-11-23 04:17

I'm selling my PS3 tomorrow morning. Wasn't worth the wait in line. I guess whoever is lucky enough can buy it from Gamestop off Weslayan in Houston, Texas

# I hear ya — HellionNecrosis 2006-11-23 04:23

Yea I actually had two buddies here in San Deigo that got PS3's on launch day and ended up selling them to other people after a few days. Didn't make much profit. Just about 0 profit. Then they bought the Nintendo Wii, and gosh, that is all they talk about. How great it is compared to the PS3.. GO FIGURE!

# old — Guest 2006-11-23 05:03

Old old old, but I was wondering when QJ would finally post it.

# hhaahahha — Guest 2006-11-23 05:15

You must be a real flaming Homo Sexual to know whether or not an article is old!!! What do you do with your life? Sit around patrolling websites all day trying to read up on gay ***** like PS3????

# haha i did that with some friends — Guest 2006-11-23 05:32

we didn't get a PS3 but we handed out hot cocoa to people in the lines. 15 good ones and 5 bad ones. just sit in the parking lot and watch the fireworks haha!!

# this is ............................. — Guest 2006-11-24 01:51

BULL SHIIII****

note to self:

Xbox fans - like to piss in balloons, in a car - WITH FRIENDS !

# My Playstation 3 Story — 2k1yellows2k 2006-11-27 14:34

My real PS3 story.

www.myspace.com/pimpmikee

look under my blogs, should be the first one.

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