Gaming stereotypes: Are you one of 'em? |
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We've just walked away from Faux News' Bill O'Reilly as he made his most recent rantings on iPods (he flamed iPods via podcast - the man's a genius...not!), PS3s, and videogaming.Yeah, you gotta admit that old sourpuss left everybody feeling equally sour. We resent what O'Reilly did, stereotyping all addicted game nerds into one group.
FYI, there's more than ONE twisted gaming stereotype, Mr. O'Rly, and courtesy of Lore Sjoberg over at Wired, we're laying down some of the apparent misfits we're sure you guys have spotted (or identify with) when you go online.
Please don't take this seriously.
The Power Craver:
These are the guys who play just for the pure powertrip factor - and consider future downgrades (ie "Nerfing") to characters they're using as a personal attack, hence something to bellyache about. Think how FMA's Edward Elric looks at Col. Mustang: "The guys with the God Complex."
Punishment: Forced to admit that no matter how powerful they are in-game, they're still some cheap-ass cashier at a convenience store in real life.
The Magical Realist:
Guys who don't exactly get the idea of how a game's physics work, or why. Instead, they insist on what "realistic" should be, and rant about how certain stats should be tweaked. Kinda like the annoying anime purist who thinks that Naruto "can't" copy himself that many times in the show just because "this" certain lines of physics says it ain't possible.
Punishment: Sent back to Kindergarten for a crash course on learning the art of "Make-Believe."
The Majority Stockholder:
The guy who thinks that just because he shells over cash for his monthly game account, that the game devs should listen to every suggestion he makes - as ridiculous or as whacked as they are - as if he were a company CEO. A mutation of the power-tripper.
Punishment: Forced to work as a customer service representative for the said Online game he plays (Wait, most of them do. Oh, well...)
The Emancipator:
A Karl Marx fanatic, this breed of gamer thinks that the game is a representation of the eternal class struggle between downtrodden, oppressed gamers and capitalistic, exploitative game companies - these are the guys who love breaking the rules and chalk it up to "liberating themselves from the yoke of oppression" - and they ain't even RP'ing.
Punishment: Sent to the following for a taste of what REAL oppression feels like: Sudan (Darfur), North Korea, Iran, Afghanistan, Republican states...
The Eternal Quitter
The guys who keeps telling everybody that he'll quit after stating a novel's worth of reasons on both the game and the boards, then does the same thing again...months later, while he's still playing.
Punishment: Make him quit for real.
One-Issue Poster
The guys who posts the same complaint every single time they're online - and it turns out to be about a topic that nobody really cares about.
Punishment: Tweak the game to piss him off even more.
The Lifestyler:
The polar opposite of the Magical Realist, this guy's so immersed in his character avatar that he insists minor cosmetic changes and the like on it just so it'll resemble him. They're the guys who can't draw the line between their own identity, and their character's identity.
Punishment: Replace character icon with their iRL picture...*shudder*
The Deathmonger
The guys whose common gripe is you can't kill everything in-game, or that they feel their victims in-game don't suffer enough. Okaaaay...a Charles Manson fan, apparently...
Punishment: It involves a long-sleeve jacket, men in white coats, and the funny farm...
Via Wired
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Comments
"Punishment: Sent to the following for a taste of what REAL oppression feels like: Sudan (Darfur), North Korea, Iran, Afghanistan, Republican states..." LOL. Thank god I live in California then! First post? Again? Sweet
ROFLMAO HAHA thats jokes but what am I
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