Weekend Slowdown: when Ninjas meet golf, god save Tiger Woods |
Ó
Words just fail this game. This game is just plain too awesome for mere words to describe. It truly shows how one can apply Real Ultimate Power to arrogant, decadent pastimes that masquerade as sports and eat land that could have been used for government housing. The stuff written on the instruction booklet for the game? Failure.Hey, at least it tried. Here, read the instruction booklet yourself to get an idea of what this game is all about, if you didn't get the idea from the box shot from the right already:
For ten years you've trained to be a Ninja. And now your Master tells you that it's time to take the final, most difficult test and become a Master Ninja. You must complete the game of death. You must play nine holes of... Ninja Golf?
You knew your Master was a bit weird, but nothing prepared you for this! You must attempt to sneak in a birdie between karate kicks while you battle Ninja opponents. Par for this course means leaving the green littered with fallen foes.
You gain points for both your golf game and defeating attacking Ninja. You can also earn points for finding treasures and other bonus items along the course.
Once you've completed all nine holes successfully, be ready to challenge the disguised Master Ninja. This final battle will determine whether or not you become a Master Ninja. And if you win, it will improve your golf score.
If only the game was more famous. Why did it have to be released for the Atari 7800? Why? BluSky Software should've just sold the game they developed to Nintendo - who was dominant at the time - instead of just bowing to will of Atari Corporation?
This is the only game wherein you can engage in golf, plow through some platforming/beat-em-up action against a plethora of enemies that include mutant frogs and psychotic gofers, and experience epic boss battles against dragons that protect the final hole.
Images of the gory, intense action follows:
Trust us! This game is ULTIMATE! Ninja Gaiden Sigma, Naruto Ultimate - Narutimate Accel, the DOA girls, and even Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2007 has nothing on this under-appreciated Atari gem. Did Ryu Hayabusa have to mind the wind velocity while he killed mindless ground based foes that predictably charged at him? No. Did Naruto have to battle psychotic gofers? No. Did the DOA girls have to dodge poop while they played beach volleyball? No. No scat in DOA folks. Does Tiger Woods have Real Ultimate Power? No.
Take it from this video reviewer who chooses to lurk in YouTube (no, it's not from the Ask A Ninja dude):
Quick, all you loyal members of the Ninja Meme, band together against the Pirates of this world. Start a petition that requests that this game be released on all those online services. Yes, those online services that companies greedily use to sell old games on their glittery new next-gen console so they can pad their game portfolio. The experience that is Ninja Golf must be spewed upon the next generation. It must damage young impressionable minds who spent Wii/Micrsoft Points.
Until next time, happy Easter, enjoy your Ninja Burgers, and always remember to avoid falling poop from ninja birds. You die instantly when you get hit by those.
24 Jumps Buy two, get one free at Best Buy
Contact Us:
The QJ.net Network |
 |
| Site | Feed |
| QJ.NET | RSS |
| Nintendo DS | RSS |
| PlayStation 3 | RSS |
| PSP Updates | RSS |
| Wii | RSS |
| Xbox 360 | RSS |
| MMORPG | RSS |
| Personal Computer Games | RSS |
| iPhone - iPod Touch | RSS |
| QJ.NET Forums | RSS |
Add QJ.NET
User Favorites - December
User Favorites - December
Categories
Archives
December 2009
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009
December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
Comments [refresh]
Pirates and Ninjas and Golf OH MY!
It sounds cool and I'mnuber one....I hope:)
THIS BRICKED MY PSP *****!
This bricked my balls, PROTECT MY ARSEHOLEY
It's official: QJ.net will post ANYTHING.
(and most of the time, crap.)
There are no words in all the tongues of men to describe the sheer awsomeness of this electronic nirvana. Sony should, nay NEEDS, to do a PlayStation 3 remake of Ninja Golf! To do so would elevate their console to a state of consumate perfection!
man this site sucks.
I hope dark releases his true power.
holy cow thats amazing, bahahahahaha
a crossgender dating sim with sonic in a dress where the ultimate date is to go on the gold saucer with master chief. wowee. and u end up with master chief proposin to sonic on the cable car with fireworks in the background!
FIRST POAST
QJ is forcing us to play 1970's games.
NOOOOOOOOOOO!
this would brick my NES if it was still here/
Good , that will teach you to not illegally emulate games now won't it.
Was this really necessary QJ?
this is sick!
First post
THIS GAME SUX ***** BUT NOT AS MUCH AS ORIGINAL GANGSTA RAP DOES
Ninja golf has been included in two recent articles on other sites, (IGN had a "worst cover art feature) before QJ decided to do its own version. Copying out the introduction from the manual isn't clever.
Was this even remotely necessary to post? No. If you're having a slow news day/weekend there is no need to post frivolous stuff like this to entertain viewers, in fact, it makes other websites like Maxconsole.net and dcemu.co.uk seem more professional than this group of clowns.
Don't like criticism? Don't run the site.
You're about two decades early there, noob. Ninja Golf was released in 1990.
As the proud owner of an Atari 7800, I can tell you that Ninja Golf rawks, ranking up there with Ballblazer and Tower Toppler (aka Nebulus).
Neither this game nor the narcissistic nerd reviewing it are funny in the least and none of this has any relevance to the PSP. No more BS please.
well, its interesting for those of us who have never heard of this game before.
emulators are awesome. so what i they're technically against copyright Law?
The fact is, Ninja golf is a classic game for the Atari 7800 games console, which many of you have probably never seen or heard of. Qj was just commenting on it for laughs. And no, it won't brick your psp if you put it on and play it with an atari 7800 emulator. In fact it's impossible. There's a reason this article was put under "humor" and "off-topic"...
Yes, maybe sony can afford exclusive rights to a game like this. Instead of a whole new game, they could have a port with HD textures and charge $20 for it on PSN like with Tekken! It could help atari and sony.
My god I'm such a fa*got.
Securaty is vital and necessary in all the ways
So I hope this can be a advice
Bye and good luck
I hope more people are playing this game now. The episode certainly has WAY too much exposure now.