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You missed the silent protagonist... aka, the mute bastard who doesn't seem to care enough about anything to speak his mind. Also missed the rag-tag group of unlikely heroes who set out to save the world against the odds.
Wake up, Crono!
haha spelled "wierdest" wrong. You guys are wierd.
"Here I am starting my quest! Luckily everyone around me is weak and the though ones will only appear when I'm strong as well!"
Basic RPG cliché. When you're level one, you'll only find other level ones and so on. It's lucky that your home city is surrounded by weak monsters, where others that are far away ar completely screwed!
No, it is "weird".
are you always the bad guy...lol...
in GTA a guy starts blasting at you and you get the wanted level...
and in Hitman 2 i was in disguise in the mission "invitation to a Party" and that Spetzna agent started to shoot me and the guards did nothing but after awhile of getting shot at the Guards start shooting me
THOSE BASTARDS!!!...lol...
See?
the "i'm invincible in the beginning, but then a bad dude takes away all my weapons and armor, and i become weak, and i have to work to get my cool stuff back"
I HATE THAT!!!! That should've definitely been in the top 10
That one could replace the one about facial hair. Nothing above the lip? Gordon Freeman begs to differ -- I'd listen to him, he's pretty bad-ass.
triple yup
how about those things that happens almost every story where someone/something is captured and youre neither there nor have the powers to stop it, then you have to go on a journey to save he/she/it no matter what.
I've seen that cliche too many times in the Metroid Prime series. It'll eventually come to the point where Samus's power-ups are so loosly fitted, all she'd have to do is trip and let them fall into some kinda vent.
Wheres all the villian cliches?
They all have some crazy power trip, and have to take over the world.
"Ive got to take over the world for supreme powah! And to do that, I have to let the heros get dangerously close to beating me, but then ill just whoop out my super awesome invincible pants and put their asses to shame because no one can beat me! BWAHAHAHAH" [/sarcasm]
Not to mention just about every boss will tell you that he cant be beaten, cuz hes obviously THAT hardcore xD
Nice article.
Very nice description, because I can see all of our favorite baddies doing that...
Never leave home without it!
http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
OR completely explain his master plan.
Somebody always gets lost or kidnapped, and you have to go find/rescue them. it could be a random person that just joined up with you, who the real player could careless about, but you never have the choice to just let them die... *sigh* lol
I wonder what zelda would've been like if Link would've just said f*ck it, I'm tired of this, I'm gonna go fish today instead!!
The wouldn't have been a Zelda 2
grandpa the smith was supposed to rescue the princess in the first place if it wasnt for his asma attack.
Somebody always gets lost or kidnapped, and you have to go find/rescue them. it could be a random person that just joined up with you, who the real player could careless about, but you never have the choice to just let them die... *sigh* lol
I wonder what zelda would've been like if Link would've just said f*ck it, I'm tired of this, I'm gonna go fish today instead!!
Or he could just hook up with his other girls that are the same age, but he only regards them as 'friends'.
Or turn ghei -__-
What about bosses? I mean, if the final boss, the leader of all your enemies, really do see you as a threat, wouldn't he send out all he has in the first level? Try beating 3000 soldiers and 10 bosses, plus the final boss, in the first stage. How's that for a challenge?
The weird thing is, the final boss always lets 3000 of his soldiers die before it's time to get his 4SS out of his sofa. Plus, even if a game DOES end with the hero dieing by the shots of the final boss, the final boss still believes he can rule the world despite that he no longer has any soldiers left! :D
you take on all the mini bosses and LAST Boss at the very beginning. afterward you continue to play all throughout the game with just regular baddies
Thank god people like you don't make games.
Or when a villain who's been trying to kill you for like, 3 years, then finally has you in the palm of his hand, all tied up, and then he decides to SAVOUR THE MOMENT!?!?! I mean, OH MY GOD he's been terrorising you for like 3 years why not kill him on the spot!!??!!!?!?!
If you've been waiting, you might want to make sure the moment doesn't slip by as a little "eh?".
That's seriously true. Oh for gods sake, you're the bad guy! Blow his *****ing brains out before his friends rescue him 10 years later.
Where the hell did you come from, cliche?
All those games where you painstakingly murder everyone in your path, room after room. Not only are they all dead, but you even searched every corner of each room, to make sure that you didnt miss anything. Confident that there is nothing in the rooms behind you, you flip a switch.
Suddenly, there is a group of enemies charging at you from the room you just came from!
Why is it in EVERY game harboring some kind of voilence, EVERYTHING that isn't on your team is trying to kill you? In RPGs especially, even the squirrels and magical, floating fish randomly attack you out of nowhere, even if you're level 99, toting armor that shoots lasers and a sword twice as big as you.
nowadays programmers are improving games specially on m.m. online r.p.g. monsters that are ways below your level just stands still, continue whatever it is doing or run away from you. i remember chasing monsters fleeing from me on the ps1 game Guardian crusade and some other console RPGs.
I hate it when your main character has a chance to kill the very enemy who will cause you nothing but misery and woe for the next 10 hours of the game, but instead they just sit there and read their whole life's story and let them escape. COME ON!
That one could replace the one about facial hair. Nothing above the lip? Gordon Freeman begs to differ -- I'd listen to him, he's pretty bad-ass.
Quick Jump just got OWNED!!!! :P
This is no divine, all knowing, absolute truth list. We're all free to add what should have/n't been included.
Big Boss/Naked Snake anyone?
Same with Mario, and Haggar, and probably lots of others that don't immediately come to mind.
The game premise must be about a magical object given to the good people by some powerful being. Only the good people are too dumb to use the object's power for defence and some bad guy comes and steals it to take over the world.
The Birish or posh bad guy? Most games have one, Liquid Snake from MGS,Sephiroth and Seymour from FF, etc.
Animal always atack you... even the cute ones and they are willing to die for no reason... maybe they think you will steal from them. (why do animals need items and money if you never see them buying stuff in the town)? Animals hate party´s . Sorry for my english :P
you re right why does animals carry money they should give xp or pelts for you to sell but nooooo they carry money in there cute little furry bags and magic potions and weapons!!!
How the little 4 horned squirrel with nothing but a 1 damage nut throw attack fights you when you're lv 9999999 and he's lv 1. Then when he dies, he drops his 2gp which he has no reason to have.
I'm so sick of most Japanese RPG's where the main hero is almost always a young kid/teenager who uses a sword as a weapon. Ugh.
alternative being a middle-aged man with a AK47 ?
It helps appeal more to the younger audience ;)
"alternative being a middle-aged man with a AK47 ?"
No, just don't make every hero male, holding a sword and being 10 years old you f.u.c.k.i.n.g weeaboo.
would you want a game that has a ten year old kid as a hero and totes an AK47? a super cutely deformed version of Duke Nukem perhaps?
The female partner with gigantic bazongas.
im gona get called pig for this, but best clechie ever is right, couse its one of the stupiedest (all be hotties) ones of all time
There is always the health pack or ammo hidden under the stairs or behind the "indestructible crate". When will the villians ever learn to hide that stuff somewhere else?
What about the fact that shooting a guy in the heart only takes away part of his health, and he's still standing up, feeling fine, shooting at you? Or when you slash them across the face with a sword? And of course you have to take turns and make sure the fight is completely fair...
I would've also considered: Exploding Barrels
Crates
perfectly flat floors in natural enviornments
Not being able to use your enemy's weapons
Assault rifles, shotguns, rocket lauchers and snipers
Frag grenades more about the exposion and less about the fragments(pet peeve sorry)
Same ol' generic enemies(scorpion, skeleton, wasps, undead)
Boss fights are always broken up into different stages
OK some of these might not even be that good, w/e I'm not del'ing.
i think that exploding barrels and crates should have been at the top of the list.
you missed only one thing qj, part 2 in a 3part series is 99.9% ALWAYS dissapointing , if you dont believe me look at these star wars II/star wars VI/waynesworld2/lordoftherings2/pirates of the carribean2/halo2/fusionfrenzy2/kotor2/spiderman2/xmen2,there are soooo many more but i cant think right now
Point taken. very true.
Thats not really a cliche, just an unfortunate mechanic of being the "middle" of the story. The second does not have the the wow factor of the first one, and it lacks the spectacular grand finale ending of the third.
Also, most of what you listed there are some really fantastic, sucessful titles. Not dissapointments by any stretch. Kotor 2 however, I agree was crap wrapped in garbage.
Super Mario 3
Metal Gear Solid 2 + 3
Crash Bandicoot Warped
Gradius 3
Street Fighter 2
Tenchu 2
Darkstalkers 2 Night Warriors / 3 Vampire Saviour
Tekken 2 / 3
Grand Theft Auto 3
Devil May Cry 3
God Of War 2
Final Fantasy 3
Gran Turismo 2
Star Ocean 2
Sims 2
Half Life 2
and hundreds more of version 2's and 3's
god of war 2 was brilliant though, but strangely enough youre right, i want to play GoW one again but not #2
How about bullet time
so many games out with bullet time or "slow motion" which is more or less exactly the same thing. Countless Matrix games use it, MaxPayne was one of the first. Red Steel has it. List goes on and on.
Here's another one. Most games always have an older person who heard of a rumor or legend and somehow, everytime, it's real.
How your super fabulous special attack that takes thirty seconds of powering up, dancing, spinning and flipping before executing is NEVER interrupted by the villains.
"Wow, he's spinning that sword around in the air, COMPLETELY unguarded...I think I'll watch."
LOL!! I totally agree bud.
How about if i just want to stick my sword in some random villagers stomach, wont that due any good?
Oh, I wish I can hold my piss and ***** like the main character, played for 70+ hours in FFXII and still haven't used a restroom. Oh, heres one for realism. If i am going 200+ mph, and hit a wall, I dont think i will still be alive, but lo and behold, in GT4, I can still race. Talk about indestructable cars, ***** talk about hard as hell walls.
invisible barriers stopping you from doing things the programmer didnt want you to. in most GTA games bridges has invisible barriers which stops you from crossing it etc. you cannot fall from most cliffs.
How about the female party member that is really a princess/leader from the place that you just happen to have to go to to get a bridge built?
How about the alarming number of party members that have amnesia?
A party member that can steal, but can't mug. . . just stab them when you take their money!
A childhood friend that turns out to be the ultimate enemy . . .
A boss fights you and has unlimited health and does 9999 damage with every hit . . . until you fight him a second time.
a guy touches you and you lose health; you touch that guy and . . . you still lose health.
you walk into an enemies castle unannounced and there is a billion traps and a thousand puzzles. You mean to tell me he goes through this every time he goes to the kitchen to make a sammich?
The hero can leap 40 feet above the ground to attack something, but he is stumped by a fence/5ft wall/curb. . .
"a guy touches you and you lose health; you touch that guy and . . . you still lose health."
Jellyfish dude. XD
Bosses cannot storm/murder the hero with all of his minions at the start of the game. and not one boss ever have conquered anything at all.
(this goes back to the classics)
final boss always comes back, using the same basic plan, only with a slightly different twist.
Robotnik: "Hmm... he smashed all those machines... lets try it with THESE machines, he'll never see it coming!!!"
Bowser: "Gee, he keeps getting thru my castles. Lets try THESE castles..."
Didn't B.J brancovitz have a beard in wolfenstien3d when you read the storyline? duke nukem was the best hero of all time for FPS's
How about the "You are a soldier going after the enemy forces in order to save the world, somehow all you have is a handgun and 12 bullets (or the crappiest sword or knife in the city)" cliche that begins most action games? I mean, no sane person would go against unknown or massive forces with just that kind of crap. (Note: I am not referring to games where there is actually a logical explanation for the lack of equipment, but there is not usually one in first person shooter games)
And add to that the "We all know you are our last hope (and possibly have saved our city already), but will still make you pay through the 4SS for the equipment you need to defend us and kill off our enemies" cliche in any action or RPG game where you can buy stuff. I mean, if you are so important and hailed as being the potential savior of the world in a city would a real store owner value ripping you off over his continued existence and his family's welfare?
like mario and cloud really had to pay for items.
i also remember castlevania on GBA where there is a military man goes all the way to dracula's castle, disregards his safety, just to sell you stuff and even guard your gal.
No mustache? Er...how about Mario?
Mario... good one. You got me there
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